Celebrity Sighting Update
I almost forgot...Saturday morning, on our way to get in line for tickets at Central Park, we passed Heather Matazzaro (a.k.a. Dawn Wiener from "Welcome to the Dollhouse" and one of the posse from "Saved") walking her bike down the street. She is one of those people who is VERY recognizable, and Matt and I spend a great deal of time quoting her character from "Welcome to the Dollhouse."
http://imdb.com/name/nm0000525/
Movin' Out
Oh my goodness, my first lag in posting. Sorry all.
This past week has been more than a bit crazy, as I’ve been in the process of moving. For most people, moving involves one hectic day of sore muscles and broken lamps. For me, the process will take 1 full week, and involve the help of several friends. Ok, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but it has been absolutely crazy. Last Monday night, I went to my temporary home in Brooklyn to scrub the kitchen with my temporary roommate Rene. I knew I would be moving out soon, but the fruit fly problem had gotten completely out of control and we couldn’t figure out what was wrong. I hadn’t cooked or used that kitchen in over two weeks, and from all outward appearances, it seemed pretty clean. Well, I cleaned that kitchen till it was spotless. The next evening, when I got home, the fruit flies were worse! That was it for me. At that moment, I began making the plans to get me and my shit out of that apartment as soon as possible. I had been sleeping on a small couch in the living room, which was now swarming with flies, and it was just too much. Thank goodness for Lisa, who came on Thursday with her Toyota, into which I put my entire life. It’s good to know that my entire life can fit into a Camry. Anyway, we brought it to my new place in Williamsburg, where it currently sits. I don’t have a key yet. I’ve been staying at Danny’s since then, and as nice as it is staying with him, I can’t WAIT to have a room of my own again. Two days from now, this dream will come true. I will get my keys, and Jon and Co. will move my new furniture in, and I will be a comfortable, cool, ramen-eating fool. This is officially the most expensive week of my life. I must write a check for $1500 tomorrow for rent and security deposit. It will hurt.
So, this weekend was a blasty-blast. We went with Jeff and Page to see “Muppets Take Manhattan” on Friday night in Central Park. It was fun! A trip to Coldstone and one cup of Copa Cabana Banana later, we were all back at home, sleeping like babies. Danny and I got up early Saturday morning to get in line for Shakespeare in the Park tickets. We got there at 9am, thinking that we’d be one of the first in line for tickets which went on sale at 1pm. We almost didn’t get tickets. There were THOUSANDS of people in line. Ridiculous. But it was cool, we made friends with some older ladies in line, and we all hung out and played cards and we told them the story of how Danny and I met, and they all went, “Awwww.” Anyway, we got our tickets at 1pm, ran a bunch of errands, then saw Two Gentlemen of Verona, the disco version. Yeah, you heard me…disco. I was expecting straight Shakespeare. I got Saturday Night Fever. It was still good, and starred the beautiful Rosario Dawson, but it just wasn’t what I expected.
What followed can only be described as the affirmation that I simply can’t drink like I used to. Several beers and several shots into the evening, I knew it wasn’t going to be fun waking up the next morning. I was right. I spent most of Sunday sitting in bed, dozing, and wishing the nausea would just go away. Finally, I started to feel better.
Sunday night, Drew and Theresa had a wine and cheese party at their new place. It’s a studio on the Upper East Side, and maybe it was because I had low expectations, but the place was very nice! Not very big obviously, but they made the best of the space they had. It was a great way to wind down the weekend.
Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly read any more than I do already, I joined a little book club. Kristi and some of her friends are having the first meeting in October, and we’re reading “The Secret Life of Bees.” I’ve heard it’s great, and It’ll be fun to meet new people.
Phew!
So, that catches me up to right now. I can’t seem to get much work done because I’m fascinated and worried about the people in Louisiana and Mississippi right now. Hurricane Katrina is kicking their asses pretty hard, and people are apparently making cell phone calls to the police from their roofs asking to be rescued. One does have to ask though…why the hell didn’t you get out of town!?
I’m getting my hair cut tonight at a salon. No, I’m not talking the salon La Hair Cutterie. I mean a real salon. I got a really great deal. Maybe I’ll end up looking glamorous. Maybe I’ll end up looking like me with shorter hair. Who knows?
Stay tuned.
COUNTDOWN TO THE BEACH: 4 days.
There is no possible way to tell you what I did this weekend without sounding like a pretentious, money-grubbing girl from New York City, so I’m just going to say it real quick-like…This weekend, Danny and I went to The Hamptons. There, I said it. Just like ripping a band-aid off real fast. And you know what? It was AWESOME.
Danny’s aunt and uncle own a house in Quogue (
http://www.city-data.com/city/Quogue-New-York.html), about 2 hours from the city. They have a cute house a few miles from the beach, with a kick-ass sunroom, a huge backyard, and a pond/waterfall/fish habitat thingie. Also, they are the coolest people ever. I wish I had an aunt and uncle as cool as they are. Over dinner the first night, we talked politics and religion, and agreed! I haven’t agreed about politics and/or religion with anyone in MY family since…ever!
We got on the Long Island Rail Road on Friday afternoon. The LIRR is way nicer than the Amtrak trains. They are all brand new double-decker trains with bar cars and big comfy seats, and unlike all other NYC transportation, they don’t smell like urine! After a nice, 2 hour ride, we arrived in Quogue. Danny’s uncle met us there, and was nice enough, but he became downright gregarious once I accepted a dram of Johnny Walker Black. I was in. We had a great dinner that night, and Danny and I went to bed pretty early.
We woke up early on Saturday morning, and rode bikes to the beach. We walked up and down the beach, gawking at all the multi-million dollar homes and stuck up bitches. I then proceeded to burn the shit out of my legs after kneeling in the sand, thus rubbing all of the sunblock off. I closely resemble a lobster right now, but luckily only from the knees down. Thank god for skirts and shorts.
Saturday night, we went out to dinner, and Sunday afternoon was spent on their 35 foot Cris-Craft cabin cruiser. We went in all the bays in the area, checking out more ridiculous homes, many of which appeared to be having parties we weren’t invited to. How rude.
We hopped back on the train and got back to the city around 7 last night. I’m exhausted and sore, but had an amazing weekend.
In other news, 11 days until the beach! I can’t wait.
In more other news, 6 days until I move!!! I can’t wait.
Fruit Fly Update: The fruit flies have begun their hostile takeover of the apartment I’m subletting. They’ve set up a compound on the stove, and have begun missile testing on the dishes in the sink. Next week can’t come soon enough.
Roger that. Over and out.
You Can Never Go Home Again
Well, I’m back from my trip home for the weekend. It was incredibly relaxing, with the exception of some drama on Saturday night. Here’s how the weekend went down, yo:
Friday morning, I grabbed my backpack and my suitcase (brought a bunch of clothes home to do laundry) and left my office for the bus stop. The bus stop is only about 20 blocks from my office, and after hauling my heavy bags about a block, I decided to just take a cab. I’m usually very good about not taking cabs, but I convinced myself that this was an extenuating circumstance, and that this way, I’d get to the bus stop a bit early instead of right on time.
No such luck. My cab driver decided (because he was a prick) to drive straight through Times Square to get to our destination. Anyone who has read this blog knows that my hatred of Times Square knows no bounds. And I forgot that if I want my cab driver to not rape me up the ass with cab fare by taking 3 hours to get where he’s going, I actually have to pipe up and say, “Can you go around Times Square please?” My mistake.
Times Square was a-hoppin’. Apparently, they were filming some sort of video or something, because blocking all traffic in the square was about 150 people, all holding electric guitars and standing next to cinder blocks (including the famous Naked Cowboy, though I don’t know why he’s so famous, he’s not even naked). Anyway, because of this, I arrived only 15 minutes before departure time, and this, I learned, was not early enough. I got in an enormous line, and had to wait for the second bus. Guess what? The second bus HAD. NO. AIR CONDITIONING. For 5 hours, I sweated and tried to stay as still as humanly possible so as not to produce any more sweat than was already in existence.
Eventually, I got to D.C., and stopped by my former place of employment to say hello to some people, and to make sure the place had not crumbled to pieces because I, their pivotal member, had left. Luckily, they appear to be holding it together.
Friday night was spent with my family and my dog, who missed me terribly and who told me that he’s been getting significantly fewer doggy treats in my absence. I told him I would speak to my family and have the situation rectified. He responded by saying, “Why, thank you Colleen,” peeing on the floor, then sleeping for three hours.
Saturday was nice. I went to Target with Mom, hung out with Lindsay all evening/night, drank wine, and baked a cake.
I had a lovely air-conditioned bus on the way back, and the only crappy thing about my trip was that when we pulled into NYC, it was in the throes of a B.A.T. (Big Ass Thunderstorm). It was raining in sheets as we got off the bus and tried to retrieve our luggage from under the bus. There were a few old people on our bus, and they were freaking out because of the rain and their inability to climb under the bus to get their suitcases. Here’s a little snippet of what I heard:
Old Lady #1: Aaaaahhhhh! Oh, no. Oh, God. I’m getting wet.
Old Lady #2: Me too! Oh God, how will we get our luggage? Oh God! Ahhhhhhh!
Literally, they were wailing (I don’t think they were crying, but I wouldn’t have been able to tell anyway, what with the rain).
So, since none of the other people were paying any attention, I threw my bags back on the bus and climbed into the luggage compartment. I started hauling bags out, one by one, until everyone’s luggage was in its owner’s hands. The old ladies appeared to have seen wings growing out of my shoulder blades because they then shouted, “God bless you! You are an angel! Thank you!” So, I figured I’d done my good deed for the day. This way, I wouldn’t feel so bad about the baby kittens I was planning to brutally murder that evening. It all works out in the end.
Anyway, my soggy weekend ended fittingly, I think. Danny wanted to take me out to dinner at this restaurant in the West Village. It looked like the storms were over, so we headed out. We were oh-so-wrong. The downpour this time was equal to, if not more violent than the previous one. We ended up getting soaked from head to toe (even with umbrellas) and getting to the restaurant, only to discover it was closed. So, we went all the way to the West Village from the Upper East Side for Go Sushi, the sushi food chain which has a restaurant 3 blocks from Danny’s apartment. Ugh.
Today though, it is a bit overcast, but 74 degrees! It’s beautiful! I plan to go for a run with my guy after work, in a vain attempt to not look like crap for the beach (less than 3 weeks baby!)
And now, for your viewing pleasure, I present to you my new favorite entries on
www.overheardinnewyork.com:
Girl: ...anyway, he was making money hand over foot--
Guy: Isn't it "hand over fist"?
Girl: It'll be "fist up your ass" if you don't stop interrupting me.
--Starbucks, Spring & Crosby
Guy: Hey pretty lady, what's your hurry? Can I have some of that?...Oh, come on, share your candy, pretty lady.
Lady: It's Pepto Bismol, not candy.
Guy: Walk on, crappy lady, walk on.
--88th & Broadway
Woman: I'd like to order a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich.
Cashier lady: I'm sorry, ma'am, we're kosher.
Woman: Oh OK, then make it a sausage, egg, and cheese.
--Nathan's, LaGuardia
Hobo: Do you have any spare change?
Guy: Sorry, no.
Hobo: Well, come back when you do.
--Orchard & Houston
Guy: Don't feel bad, honey. I'd say that one out of every 8 guys is a convicted arsonist.
--Union Square
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we have some good news and some bad news. Bad news is that our engine has stopped. The good news is that you're not on an airplane.
--MetroNorth train
How To Eat Your Way Through New York City
I’m very hungry. There is a tasty looking peach sitting on the bookshelf, but I do not want a peach. What I want is a BBQ chicken burrito from Blockheads. Following that, I’d like a Copa Cabana Banana from Coldstone (which I can’t have because the Cake Batter™ ice cream has been found to contain salmonella. Damn.) If I cannot have that, I would like to substitute the Mexican popsicles they sell at the bodega next to my apartment. I will stop by there today and propose a deal they can’t refuse. I’ll suggest that we get some PVC pipe from the local hardware store, and run the pipe from the freezer next to the counter right into the living room window of my apartment. Then, whenever I want one of their delicious real fruit popsicles, I can just drop the money through the tube, then suck the popsicle out by placing our Super Powerful Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner over the tube at my end. It’s so easy. And they will never have a problem selling their popsicles. Ok, back to food. Following the popsicle extravaganza, I would like the eel roll from GoSushi on 85th and 2nd. How it will get to me while I’m sitting on my couch in Brooklyn, gorging myself on popsicles, and how I will pay for it are details to be worked out later. After a quick visit to Jack Russell’s on the Upper East Side for the best potato skins known to man, I believe I will sit and watch some cable television.
Speaking of, until last night, I hadn’t seen The Daily Show in over a month. I was going through some serious withdrawal. But Danny got cable finally, so all is well.
Ok, so this little tidbit is specifically for big fans of The West Wing: The guy who runs security at the front desk where I work looks EXACTLY like the secret service agent who had a crush on CJ. Like, I’m wondering if that actor got inspired by his roll and decided to pursue a career in front desk security. Sadly, I doubt it.
I think a spider bit me on my thumb. Please, oh please, let it be the radioactive kind. This world is just itchin’ for a Spiderwoman.
Some of my favorite entries from
www.overheardinnewyork.comWoman: Is this your first child?
Man: Yes, why do you ask?
Woman: You sure act like it is.
Man: What does that have to do with you being rude and inconsiderate?
--Loews Lincoln Square, 68th Street
Hippie: What color is your aura?
FIT girl: I think my aura has black and white stripes.
Hippie: Vertical or horizontal?
FIT girl: Horizontal...no, vertical.
Hippie: Is that because vertical stripes make your aura look fat?
FIT girl: Yeah.
--26th & 8th
Girl: If you ever make me sleep in an ATM vestibule again, I am so dumping you.
--Grand Central
Hobo: Can you spare some change? Or a pineapple?
--4th Avenue & 8th Street
Hobo: We been waiting for this train since May 5, 1987.
--86th Street B/C station
Hobo: Miss, miss, can you spare some change? Sir, sir? Ma'am?...You!You'll speak when you're spoken to!
--49th & 8th
Conductor: Canal Street next after this brief musical interlude.
--R train
Tourist woman: Excuse me, can you tell me where the big apple is?
--43rd & Broadway
Woman: What I love most about New York is that wherever you go, inevery neighborhood, there's garbage on the curb. To me, that's democracy.
--University & 11th
Kicking Screaming Gucci Little Piggy
I’d like to start off today’s entry by providing yet another example of my ineptitude at various everyday activities. I made macaroni and cheese for dinner last night. Yum. I saved half of it for lunch today. Yum. I then proceeded to dump the macaroni and cheese on the kitchen floor at work. The resounding *splat* could be heard from miles away, I’m sure. So, I was forced to buy my lunch in the cafeteria downstairs, and pay entirely too much for it, incidentally.
This weekend was pretty crazy because Adam, the guy with good musical taste from whom I am renting my room, returned for a short visit to the apartment with his band mate. Thursday night, Adam, Rene and I went to this great place that sells exotic beers and the best cheese I have ever had in my entire life. We picked up some of that, and hung out on the roof of the apartment to watch the sunset. It was crazy beautiful.
The weather this weekend was perfect, so I spent as much time outdoors as I possibly could. Friday after work, Danny and I went for a run in Central Park, followed by a significant amount of walking for the rest of the evening. I feel very physically fit this morning after all the exercise this past weekend.
AC Update: Still no AC in the apartment, and now, my Aerobed has become just about the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever slept on. Danny and I ended up deflating it and sleeping essentially right on the floor last night. Today, I’m suffering from a sore back, and a lack of sleep. I was at Matt’s apartment this weekend (a.k.a. my future home come September), and I am now having daydreams about living in an apartment with a real bed and a frigid window unit. Just one more month.
This weekend also marks my very first New York City freak out session. I knew it would happen, and as I found out from a few of my friends who have recently moved up here, it happens to everyone. Ever since I got here, I’ve subconsciously been dealing with the fact that EVERYONE in this city judges you on first glance. When you’re walking down the street, it’s not just the guys who give you the once-over, it’s all the girls too. What am I wearing? Is it hip enough to be walking around Manhattan on a decidedly not-skinny-enough body? Oh good god, is this from Old Navy?! I should be ashamed of myself. I have to say, I am not a big girl, but I certainly feel like one, the way I’m scrutinized by all the “beautiful girls” in this city.
So it finally hit me, on Saturday night, as Danny and I were getting ready to go out to a bar and meet some of his friends from college. Incidentally, they were both in sororities. I just didn’t think I could handle the pressure of being judged by all of New York City as well as two sorority girls from Florida State. I just didn’t think I could do it. So the waterworks came on, and didn’t stop for a good 20 minutes. Of course, just after any good cry, I felt better afterward, but it was the first time since I moved here that, just for a brief moment, I wished I was back home in D.C. where no one, at work or on the weekend, gave a flying rat’s ass what you were wearing or whether or not you had makeup on.
So here it is, Monday afternoon, and I am back to being madly in love with this city. I’m also going to work on that unfortunate part of my personality that tends to care what people think of me. I think if I can start to get over that, I’ll be a lot better off.
Beach Countdown: 33 days and counting
Check out the pictures of the place we’re staying:
http://www.surforsound.com/properties/260.html
