iconoclastic verb bandit

2007-05-21T07:30:00.000-07:00

Warning: I'm shamelessly overusing parentheses in this post. I simply can't help myself.

Ok, ladies and gentlemen (or rather, maybe one lady and some dude who accidentally stumbled upon this blog) -- I realize I've been a rather irresponsible blogger as of late (late being the entire past year and a half), and that I've undermined the entire purpose of writing this blog (letting friends know what I'm up to) by not actually writing in it.

But spring has sprung, and I'm feeling the need to write again, so here goes...

I'm not even going to attempt to fill in the last year and a half of my life, but I'll innumerate the highlights/lowlights:

1) Left the Editorial department at the publishing house for which I work, and began working for the Managing Editorial department, where I've now been for the past year or so.

2) Saw some truly incredible shows on stage this past year, including Berthold Brecht's "Mother Courage" at the Public Theater (the outdoor amphitheater in Central Park) starring Meryl Streep and Kevin Kline, and Mozart's "The Magic Flute" at the Metropolitan Opera (the MOST amazing thing I've ever seen on stage in my life, hands down). Not to mention my good friend Dan's rise to fame at Lincoln Center's "A House in Town" and on Broadway in "The Vertical Hour" with Julianne Moore. That was just four more reasons why I love this city, by the way.

3) Danny moved back to Jacksonville, and 6 months later, we broke up. Gonna keep that one short and intentionally vague on details, folks, for obvious reasons.

4) Got to see Gomez in concert in March, and Dan Bern in concert in February (and again tomorrow night!). I also discovered a ton of new music--shout out to Eric and Jeff for the cultural enlightenment.

5) Did some exploring of this extremely awesome city I call home, including some covert ops on Roosevelt Island (I have pictures locked in a vault somewhere).

6) My parents visited New York City for the first time in 30 years, and despite being convinced they would be mugged and turned into Democrats, they LOVED it here. I had such a blast showing them around, and they're coming back in the fall.

So I think that's it for the past, and now to the present:

As is often the case in this city, the weather makes all the difference in the world. The mood of the entire city and all the people in it changes depending on the rain or sun or cold weather. This winter was particularly long for me, so when the weather broke, it was really like starting a life in New York all over again. I feel independent and intrepid and many other words that begin with the letter "i". I've put a lot of effort into changing my bedroom decor, making it a little more my style. I've been spending a lot of time with my NYC family (Jon & Co.) and making new friends. It's not that I didn't already know this, but lately I've realized just how wonderful and supportive my friends are. I've also met some truly incredible people over the last few months, and I consider myself very lucky to be surrounded by such an interesting and intelligent crowd. So here it is, the middle of May, and I think there's a very good summer in store for me.

I was at the Strand yesterday, and found this box of cards called "Walk NYC." It's a deck of 50 cards, and on each one is a map of a neighborhood in NYC and a walking route. On the back of the card is the history of that particular neighborhood and some interesting historical and cultural sights that can be found there. I plan on using at least one card per week to do some exploring.

Well, I'm all typed out for now. And though I know you don't believe me, more to come...I promise.

C

celebrity sightings and ninjas

2006-01-30T08:57:00.000-08:00

Friday night, the ladies and I got together at Andrea’s for our fortnightly girls night where we drink wine, eat food, then raid Andrea’s closet, tell each other that no, we’re neither fat nor ugly, and then head out to a bar on the Lower East Side. That night, we decided on our new favorite bar, The Back Room. Set up like a Victorian living room, this bar is owned by Tim Robbins, has chandeliers and high-backed, velvet couches, and cocktails are served in teacups and on saucers. We ran into my friend Patty there, who promptly pointed out that Jason Schwartzman (Rushmore) was sitting in the corner. Indeed he was, with his preggers girlfriend/wife. We hung out for a while and chatted with the bouncer, Mike, and Andrea made good friends with the bartender. We shall be going there again.

Saturday morning, bright and early, we got up and headed to Williamsburg, Brooklyn for the IDIOTAROD.

No blogging needed to explain this experience because these two links (must read them in order) will explain it all except to say that our theme was CHUCK NORRIS NINJAS:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/01/29/entertainment/main1251445.shtml

http://www.aldenford.com/galleries/Chuck/

2006-01-26T13:17:00.000-08:00

Remember when I wrote last and I spoke of Vermont and skiing, and, well, bitches? Um, yeah, I’m going to have to retract my previous blog entry in favor of this one:

So, Danny and I had been talking about the possibility of going to Vermont to go skiing sometime. There is this program in the city where you pay a cheap fee, and they bus you and your stuff up to Vermont and the fee pays for your lift ticket. Super cool, right? So, this past Sunday, Danny says to me, “See if anyone else wants to go skiing with us on Saturday, besides Drew and Dan.” Um, yeah. He never told me it was definite so I never took off work that day. I was scheduled for 6 hours of super fun tutoring that day. BUT it is Vermont, so I called and called people I work with to see if they’d cover my shift. It took two days, but finally I found two people to split my shift.

Since then, I have been telling everyone who will listen how I am going to Vermont skiing and am I excited? Hell yes I’m excited. I bought ski pants and a ski jacket and practiced my *swishing* and my *pie slices* and my *looking cute in ski gear*.

Fast forward to this afternoon. I’m already having kind of a crappy day due to work-related things I shall not mention on this website thanks to dooce-related warnings. But it’s okay, I tell myself. It’s okay because in a mere two days, I will be slicing up the powder in Vermont and drinking hot cocoa. Danny calls and tells me that he never tried to reserve us a spot on the bus until this morning, and *shock of all shocks* the bus is now full and we don’t get to go.

This experience has taught me two important things:

1) Blogs are a good way to deal with anger, rather than dealing with it by punching my boyfriend in the kisser.

2) In the future, I will be handling ALL travel arrangements.

IN OTHER NEWS: Today, Colleen enjoyed for lunch a lovely fajita with a side of VINDICATION. Whereas before FreyGate 2006, I would have put myself in the "I don't Knowprah" camp, I now count myself a proud member of the "PrOprah" camp. I have read some liveblog entries of the live taping of Oprah's interview with James Frey today, and I can't wait to get home and watch the show. Oprah kicks James Frey's ass all up and down her cream and beige colored set. FINALLY.

Blogitude

2006-01-24T12:47:00.000-08:00

What’s that? I’m sorry; I couldn’t hear you just then. Did you say you wish you were also going skiing in Vermont this weekend? That’s right bitches! I’m going to get my ski bunny on at Mt. Snow this weekend. I pulled off a last minute miracle and was able to get several people to cover my arduous, tedious and perilous tutoring shift this weekend so I could go.

Also, I am finally (finally!) selling my little Honda Civic. Once I have found a buyer and rid myself of this large hunk of metal that has been sucking money out of my bank account, a whole new world will open up to me. This world includes: being able to go grocery shopping at Whole Foods and not at the ghetto C-Town grocery store, purchasing at least one more pair of Lucky jeans from their store in SoHo (best jeans in the whole wide world), paying off the same credit card debt I’ve had for 5 years (even though I clipped my card 3 years ago), going to Colorado to visit my Latvian BFF Eriks, and just generally enjoying New York City the way it was meant to be enjoyed. Damn skippy.

What else? Oh, so I have a readers poll for you guys (all 3 of you). What is the best name for the beagle puppy I will someday get:

Bleecker

Or

Ludlow

"Well, I got fired from an apricot-pickin' farm, and my daddy said they was jobs at this Berryville place."

2006-01-20T11:51:00.000-08:00

Early Thursday Morning, 2:30am: Wake up feeling really sick for no particular reason

2:37am: Relocate to the living room couch because it’s closer to the bathroom

2:45am: Prepare for the inevitable

2:46am: Relocate to the bathroom and (*insert euphemism for vomit here*)

2:50am: Back to the living room couch

3:00am: Watch an episode of The X-Files on TNT.

4:00am: Back to the bedroom to sit awake for another couple of hours feeling nauseated

7:00am: sleep a little

8:00am: Wake up, go to work.

3:00pm: Fall asleep while sitting in my chair at my computer looking like I’m reading

6:00pm: Go to my second job (tutoring), ask to be sent home if student doesn’t show

6:30pm: The reasonable assumption is made that said student is not coming, and I’m sent home

6:30pm: Crash on the bed and listen to This American Life (good episode this week!)

7:30pm: Get up, get showered, and prepare to party at the China Club with my girls

8:30pm: Arrive at China Club to crash production party with my friends

Here’s where it gets fun. There are two levels in the China Club. The top floor is set up for the food and there’s a dance floor and a Bad Beatles Cover Band. We stay there for an hour or so, drinking free booze and eating. We’ve been introduced to two women at this point, Kelly and Pam, both of whom work at the company who was sponsoring the party and are both from a small town in West Virginia and are about 45 or so. Andrea decides at this point, that we need to go check out the other area downstairs. We troop down there, and we discover the absolute strangest scene. Keep in mind that the average age of people at this party was about 40. The China Club is this big space, set up for huge dance parties, and as I stood in the middle of the room and looked around, I realized it was peopled with yokels and white haired men doing the funky chicken. But far from being a bad party, it was one of the most hilarious nights I’ve had in NYC since I moved here. We ended up convincing the two West Virginian women to come out with us to the Dark Room with us, where we all had shooters and showed them a good old time.

After we packed them into a cab and sent them on their way back to their hotel, we got ourselves a cab to share. Now, after you live in NYC for a while, you start to view the cab driver as a non-entity. As strange as it sounds, it’s like they’re in their world (and usually on the phone) and you are in yours. You just don’t even think about the fact that they are there until it comes time to pay. Well, we were talking on the way home about breakups and relationships, etc. and when it came time to get out of the cab, the driver turned around and said to us, “I wish you guys weren’t getting out of my cab…see, I had the same thing happen to me just last week.” He then went on to tell us that he’d been married and divorced twice, and that he’s got this lovely woman he’s dating now but she wants to get married and he doesn’t, blah blah. So, as Catherine walked back to her apartment, I was standing outside the cab saying to the driver things like, “You know, you just have to do what is going to make you happy in the end, and hope that she will understand and take you for who you are…” It was hilarious! I was psychologically analyzing my cab driver. Weird night.

Dear Blog

2006-01-19T11:44:00.000-08:00

Hello, Dear Blog,

Here’s where I apologize to you, blog, for not being there for the last few months. It’s where I tell you I’ve been really busy with work and that I meant to call, but time just got away from me. And here’s also where you, Blog, forgive me and tell me you’re just happy I’m back and that you hope we’ll always be friends.

Wow, that was a special moment.

Lunchtime Notes

2005-11-09T10:55:00.000-08:00

“Kevin Federline is the male equivalent of ‘You can’t make a ho a housewife.’” --Andrea

Downy Soft

2005-11-07T07:57:00.000-08:00

My coffee was sub-par this morning. I usually go to the cute coffee-man on 55th between Broadway and 7th, and he usually serves me good coffee with just the right amount of sugar and milk. Today, though, the coffee was a bit burnt and there was too much milk and not enough sugar. It makes me sad. Regardless, I highly recommend that you stop by his cart because there ain’t nothin’ better on a Monday morning than a little eye candy.

I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to do my own laundry ever again. See, there’s this cool thing that people do in New York City, and it constitutes yet another reason why this city is the best city in the world. In New York City, you can pay other people to do your laundry.

That’s right, gasp, be jealous, faint!

And the best part is, it usually only costs a few more dollars than doing the laundry yourself. For instance, last week, as I was walking the 5 blocks to the Laundromat, fully intending to spend 2 hours doing my laundry, I realized I’d forgotten my detergent. At this point I had two options: Go back to my apartment while carrying a crapload of laundry, trudge up the 2 flights of narrow stairs, and retrieve my detergent, OR, just drop it off, give them my phone number, and pick it up the next day. The choice was obvious. And the next evening, when I picked up my laundry, it was folded better than I could fold it, and smelled better than I could have imagined, and it cost me only $10.50. One or two fewer Starbucks lattes per week and I could have these lovely people do my laundry for me! I’m completely spoiled and, much like getting high speed internet for the first time, I can’t go back.

Oh, and I’m going to see Avenue Q.

More importantly, I’m having my very first guests as a New York resident. Prianka and Jenny are coming next weekend and it will be great. I’m glad I finally get to drag them up here. We have tried the last two New Years Eves to make it to NYC together, but it hasn’t worked out, and both times it’s been my fault. Not this time! We’re going to see Harry Potter 4 on Friday night (not a NYC thing to do, I’ll admit, but Harry takes precedence in this case). Then, we’re going to get dinner at this place called The Trailer Park Lounge. C’mon, you’re jealous. Followed the next day by Avenue Q, and then perhaps a Drunk Night, just like old times. I have a feeling Prianka will need a little convincing to partake in the latter, but I’m confident in my and Jenny’s abilities to drunkenly cajole her into taking more shots. We’ve had lots of practice.

The Dushku Girls, reunited again!

just a few things

2005-11-03T04:48:00.000-08:00

I'm going to Avenue Q in two weeks. SUCKAHS!

*ahem*

Also, THE SQUID AND THE WHALE is one of the most uncomfortable and disturbing movies I've ever seen.

there was abuse in my family, but it was mostly musical in nature.

2005-10-28T07:53:00.000-07:00

When I woke up this morning, I was in a room with no fewer than 25 paintings, all framed, and all PAINT BY NUMBERS. A dream, says you?

Just a night drinking with the girls, says I.

So, here was the original plan: At around 8, we would all head down to Gramercy to Andrea’s and Tim’s apartment. Tim is out of town and said she could “have friends over.” Thanks, Dad! So we rented a movie, got three bottles of wine, and settled in. I would say that for the first hour, all was normal. We watched the movie, ate great pizza, made fun of people we work with.

Then we reached that all important point at which we were all sufficiently drunk. It’s then that the leather bustier and the blonde wig came out.

You see, Andrea and AMC are going to dress up as the 80’s band Heart for Halloween. They decided to give us a little preview of their karaoke performance, which quickly disintegrated into the dance party which always seems to happen when we girls get together and wine is involved. So yes, Catherine and I joined in, but not before taking tons of pictures which are sure to keep any of us from holding public office in the future.

Shortly after that, we were told that it was time for salsa lessons. Andrea takes salsa lessons every week and gave us an impromptu lesson right there in the living room. I discovered that my ability to Irish step dance helped me learn salsa and I think if I were to take lessons, I’d pick it up pretty quickly. It was a blast.

Then, at 2:30am, after leaving the living room a wasteland of empty wine bottles and Hershey’s wrappers, we went to bed. AMC and I slept in Tim’s room. Tim has THE most comfortable bed in the whole wide world, and a very interesting decorating style. He collects paint-by-numbers paintings, frames them, and hangs them on his wall. That brings us to this morning when I woke up in his room surrounded by impeccably painted winter scenes, deer in the woods, sad clowns, and three different paint-by-numbers Jesuses. It was fabulous.
Not surprisingly, I am hungover, so don’t talk too loud, okay?
Thanks.

Dos, a beer, a Mexican beer...

2005-10-25T11:23:00.000-07:00

...Ray, the guy who buys me beer,
Me, the guy I buy beer for,
Fa, a long way to the bar,
So, I guess I'll have a beer,
La, la la la la la laaaaa,
Tea, no thanks I'll have a beeeeer,
And it brings us back to...

I woke up Sunday morning to that all-too-familiar kick in the face from my liver, berating me for drinking so much vodka the night before. Only this time, I was kicked in the face in the comfort of my old bed in my parents’ house.

Yes, I graced Fairfax, Virginia with my presence this past weekend, and it was great. I got in Friday evening, at which point my mom, dad, sister and I went out to Kate’s Irish Pub in the extremely cosmopolitan town of Springfield, Virginia to have a few Smithwicks, play darts, and watch these two old guys play drinking songs:

(http://www.nationaltheatre.org/monday/art/1999spring/DoubleDown200h.jpg)

They’re hilarious, Irish, chatty, and extremely amenable to playing songs requested by yours truly.

Saturday I had lunch with Pri and Em, and it was lovely. Then it was back home for the annual October Birthdays party at my parents house, to which many of my relatives came. I proceeded to stuff my face with (FREE!) food, and await the arrival of Christen.
Christen got to my house around 8:30pm, and by 10:30 we were on our way to Velvet, courtesy of Garth and his new gas-guzzling SUV. It was a pretty nice ride though, I have to say.

Everyone was at Velvet and it was a typical good time had by all. Ed and Mike came, as well as my sister and various Velvet friends, who I never see in the light of day but with whom I’ve had hour long, heart-to-heart discussions with over the years and in various states of inebriation. And yes, we danced in the cage. Which brings me back around to the vodka. For there is no cage without vodka. Sober people do not dance in cages.

Anyway, Sunday consisted of being hungover at church, then watching my Redskins beat the tar off the San Francisco 49ers. It was beautiful.

Just a fantastic weekend, and exactly what I needed. This is a great city, but you gotta get out every once in a while or you’ll just go insane.

all up ons

2005-10-17T15:08:00.000-07:00

Hey all.

So, the main reason I wasn't posting for a while is that I didn't have access to the Internet at home. Now I do. And you all who are reading this will suffer because of it. Mindless drivel, stupid comments, and most likely, drunken rambling, will fill this page, now that I can sit in my pajamas, drink a large glass of wine, and write my thoughts to The Void (and friends). And holy shit, that was seven commas in one sentence.

My money troubles, the ones which have been causing me psychological distress as of late, will soon be over. All this thanks to a little place called NAME REDACTED. (hell if I'm getting dooced.) Starting tomorrow, I will tutor 4 days a week (evenings and weekends), thus making enough money to SELL MY FREAKING CAR back home...you know the one...the one that I pay close to $400/month for it to sit in my parents' driveway collecting dust and age? Yep, that's the one. It will be gone. Anyone wanna buy a car?

It's almost Halloween and Danny and I are thinking of Halloween costumes. If you're reading this and wish to comment, it would be greatly appreciated. We are thinking of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. What do you think?

Ok, I must go to the grocery store...you know the one, right across from the gambling bookies and past the projects.

Bye!

Memiors of a Shiksa

2005-10-04T08:07:00.000-07:00

Cool Thing About New York City #15,239:

Jewish people.

They have these two crrrrazy holidays, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. They get to take off work on those days to go to temple, atone for sins, and catch up on episodes of Lost. And the best part about living in New York City is that there are SO MANY JEWS! Business practically shuts down in the city on these days. And today is one of those days. Happy Rosh Hashanah everyone! Hamentashen for everyone!

And speaking of The Chosen People, I spent the weekend with Danny and his family in South Florida celebrating his grandmother’s 90th birthday party. I have never met a family which talks about sex more than this one. You name it, I heard about it in the last 48 hours. They are a lovely family though, highly entertaining, and they don’t seem to hate me, so that’s good.

Last night, Matt and I went to the Alligator Lounge: (http://www.freewilliamsburg.com/bars/archives/2005/03/_alligator_loun.html)

This place is awesome. With every purchase of a (reasonably priced) draft beer, you get a free pizza. You heard me, a free pizza. Not a free slice of pizza, but an actual, 10” pizza. And it’s good pizza too. So, Matt and I hung out there for a while to catch up and bitch about how Time Warner Cable is just as incompetent as Verizon *gasp* in that they came to our apartment while Matt was sitting on the couch, but didn’t bother buzzing to get in, instead assuming we weren’t home and driving away. Two more weeks without Internet or cable. If I have to watch the DVD of Rudy one more time or actually resort to reading (god forbid), I’ll be ready to move into The Projects next door. I’ll bet they have cable.

I joined a gym! I even managed to get up at 6:30am and work out before work. We’ll see how long this newfound commitment lasts.

Sweat Bands and Leg Warmers

2005-09-23T13:50:00.000-07:00

Cool Thing About New York City # 5,360: www.ricetoriches.com Danny and I went there last night for dessert and it is FABULOUS. Rice pudding has always been one of those foods that I could either take or leave, but this stuff is GOOD. I got two flavors – Chocolate Chip and Sex, Drugs, and Rocky Road. Go there. Go now!

Let’s see, I have rejoined Netflix, one of the top 5 best things in the entire world. We watched Born Into Brothels last night, and it was very moving. I’ve got the 3rd disc in the series of Dead Like Me coming tomorrow, so I’ll be getting my Netflix on this weekend for sure.

In about 20 minutes, I will hopefully be getting a membership at Bally’s (I refuse to call it by its full name, “Bally’s Total Fitness” because it is lame…much like calling Ross, “Ross – Dress For Less.” Lame.). It is from this day forward that I will embark on my goal to be all “in shape” and shit. I can’t wait. Danny is coming with me and hopefully he can use his big muscles to convince them to give me a good deal.

Doing all sorts of fun stuff this weekend, so I’ll fill you in, dear blog, when I return.

Adios!

pickled liver.

2005-09-21T07:10:00.000-07:00

When I woke up on Sunday morning, my liver kicked me in the face and said, “What have I ever done to you?”

I learned something this weekend. As wonderful as New York City is, a drunken house party is almost exactly the same in Arlington, VA as it is in Brooklyn, NY.

Considering that I spent entirely too much money last week at bars watching Christian rappers, a band called “Holy Fuck,” and drinking tequila shots, it was decided by Andrea, AMC and me, that when we got together on Saturday night, we’d just hang out at my apartment, play a little Cranium, and drink some wine. Sounds like fun, huh? Oh my goodness. Mothers, cover your children’s eyes, ‘cuz they wasn’t no Cranium played at my house Saturday night. Matt and I began drinking around 8:00pm, in anticipation of a 9:30pm arrival of my two friends. Well, the girls didn’t get to our apartment until 10:30 or so, and when they arrived, they were already sloshed and had brought another 7 people with them. So, for future reference, the recipe for an impromptu, drunk-ass dance party at 3:00am: 9 drunk people, add 3 bottles of wine (1 decent, 2 GOD AWFUL), vodka and cream soda, Coronas, Heineken, and little girlie wine coolers. Stir.

It was a blasty-blast. We blasted Missy Elliot (we are the only occupied apartment in the building), poured drinks into people’s mouths while they were lying upside down on the couch, and discovered that Andrea may have the superpower that all women wish they had: the ability to turn a gay man straight, if only for one night.

Needless to say, Sunday morning was not as much fun. I was hungover until at least 4pm Sunday. The headache dissipated just in time for me to play my first softball game of the season. I got two base hits, none of which resulted in a run, and we lost 24-6. Ouch. I attribute this loss solely to the fact that at the last minute, they decided to name our team “The Wonderbats” rather than the significantly cooler, “Vote for Pedro.”

Also, Friday night, Danny took me out on a date! I think it’s really sweet that he still occasionally takes me out, even though we’ve been dating for a while and see each other all the time. We went to dinner at this GREAT Mexican restaurant with an outdoor patio and then saw “The 40 Year Old Virgin,” which was freaking hilarious.

In two weeks, Danny and I will fly to Ft. Lauderdale to attend his grandmother’s 90th birthday party. Let’s hope she doesn’t have a heart attack when she meets her grandson’s gentile girlfriend. Oy!

I'm back.

2005-09-13T07:18:00.000-07:00

I’m back, I’m tan, and I’ve got a place to live.

It doesn’t get any better than that.

I’ve been on vacation at the Outer Banks, N.C. for the last week with the Eiswerths and the NYC crowd. It was great. The weather was amazing, 80 degrees and sunny almost every single day. There was sailing and kayaking and drinking before noon. We cleaned the local grocery store out of their stock of Yuengling. That’s what I call a successful vacation. Unfortunately, the rest of the vacationers had to evacuate the island because of Hurricane Ophelia. Sucks.

So now I’m back in NYC and detoxing, getting back into the groove of things. I am fully moved into my new apartment with Matt, and I LOVE IT. The neighborhood is a bit sketchy (less though, I think, than the place I was living before), but the apartment is beautiful. Newly renovated, hardwood floors, clean walls, minimalist furniture, lots of closet space, and a room that is almost 3 times the size of my old room in Ghetto, Brooklyn. There’s a great taco place down the street which doubles as an all-night diner, and a kick-ass place to get a slice (something I couldn’t find in my old neighborhood). I’ve had a few guys do the whole cat calling, “hey sweetie” thing as I walk down the street, but other than that, it’s not so bad. We’re getting cable soon and internet, and it’s fabulous.

Let’s see, what else is going on in fabulous New York City?

This weekend, some girls from work and I are going to a burlesque show at The Slipper Room. I can’t wait.

Tonight, I’m going with these same girls to Pianos to see a band and drink free beer. FREE BEER!

And this coming Sunday, ladies and gentlemen, my softball team, VOTE FOR PEDRO, will be playing our first game. Come one, come all, come see Colleen shame her former softball training by throwing like a girl.

Also, and most importantly, Sunday morning when I woke up and walked outside, I got that first hint that it is almost autumn in New York. Crappy movie, great time to be in this city.

Frightening.

2005-09-01T12:38:00.000-07:00

Some tragedies bring out the best in human nature, and some bring out the worst. Unfortunately, it looks like this one is the latter.

I’m getting a sadly familiar feeling in my stomach. For at least a few days after 9/11, I had this strange numb feeling and my mind had a very hard time wrapping itself around the tragedy that had occurred. I’m getting that feeling again about what’s going on with Katrina right now. To read the reports and see the news coverage, I can’t even imagine what it must be like down there right now. The idea that some officials were attempting to defy the Constitution of the United States and declare Marshal Law is what really drove it home for me. It’s not because I think that they shouldn’t, it’s just that the situation has indeed reached a critical point when law enforcement suggests the idea of Marshall Law as a viable solution to the problem.

My coworker has friends in New Orleans who just were evacuated today and wrote her an email from Baton Rouge. They said that the situation in the Superdome is worse than people think…that there have been reports of rapes and people getting shot in the head. They also say that the looting and lawlessness are reaching a point where large gangs of men are walking through neighborhoods in broad daylight, casing houses by simply looking in the windows while the people are inside looking back. They then are coming back at night and robbing those houses. Who is going to stop them? These friends of hers also said that they guess that if the National Guard doesn’t show up en masse by this evening, the violence will reach new heights as those robberies continue.

Celebrity Sighting Update

2005-08-29T13:27:00.000-07:00

I almost forgot...Saturday morning, on our way to get in line for tickets at Central Park, we passed Heather Matazzaro (a.k.a. Dawn Wiener from "Welcome to the Dollhouse" and one of the posse from "Saved") walking her bike down the street. She is one of those people who is VERY recognizable, and Matt and I spend a great deal of time quoting her character from "Welcome to the Dollhouse."

http://imdb.com/name/nm0000525/

Movin' Out

2005-08-29T11:46:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness, my first lag in posting. Sorry all.

This past week has been more than a bit crazy, as I’ve been in the process of moving. For most people, moving involves one hectic day of sore muscles and broken lamps. For me, the process will take 1 full week, and involve the help of several friends. Ok, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but it has been absolutely crazy. Last Monday night, I went to my temporary home in Brooklyn to scrub the kitchen with my temporary roommate Rene. I knew I would be moving out soon, but the fruit fly problem had gotten completely out of control and we couldn’t figure out what was wrong. I hadn’t cooked or used that kitchen in over two weeks, and from all outward appearances, it seemed pretty clean. Well, I cleaned that kitchen till it was spotless. The next evening, when I got home, the fruit flies were worse! That was it for me. At that moment, I began making the plans to get me and my shit out of that apartment as soon as possible. I had been sleeping on a small couch in the living room, which was now swarming with flies, and it was just too much. Thank goodness for Lisa, who came on Thursday with her Toyota, into which I put my entire life. It’s good to know that my entire life can fit into a Camry. Anyway, we brought it to my new place in Williamsburg, where it currently sits. I don’t have a key yet. I’ve been staying at Danny’s since then, and as nice as it is staying with him, I can’t WAIT to have a room of my own again. Two days from now, this dream will come true. I will get my keys, and Jon and Co. will move my new furniture in, and I will be a comfortable, cool, ramen-eating fool. This is officially the most expensive week of my life. I must write a check for $1500 tomorrow for rent and security deposit. It will hurt.

So, this weekend was a blasty-blast. We went with Jeff and Page to see “Muppets Take Manhattan” on Friday night in Central Park. It was fun! A trip to Coldstone and one cup of Copa Cabana Banana later, we were all back at home, sleeping like babies. Danny and I got up early Saturday morning to get in line for Shakespeare in the Park tickets. We got there at 9am, thinking that we’d be one of the first in line for tickets which went on sale at 1pm. We almost didn’t get tickets. There were THOUSANDS of people in line. Ridiculous. But it was cool, we made friends with some older ladies in line, and we all hung out and played cards and we told them the story of how Danny and I met, and they all went, “Awwww.” Anyway, we got our tickets at 1pm, ran a bunch of errands, then saw Two Gentlemen of Verona, the disco version. Yeah, you heard me…disco. I was expecting straight Shakespeare. I got Saturday Night Fever. It was still good, and starred the beautiful Rosario Dawson, but it just wasn’t what I expected.

What followed can only be described as the affirmation that I simply can’t drink like I used to. Several beers and several shots into the evening, I knew it wasn’t going to be fun waking up the next morning. I was right. I spent most of Sunday sitting in bed, dozing, and wishing the nausea would just go away. Finally, I started to feel better.

Sunday night, Drew and Theresa had a wine and cheese party at their new place. It’s a studio on the Upper East Side, and maybe it was because I had low expectations, but the place was very nice! Not very big obviously, but they made the best of the space they had. It was a great way to wind down the weekend.

Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly read any more than I do already, I joined a little book club. Kristi and some of her friends are having the first meeting in October, and we’re reading “The Secret Life of Bees.” I’ve heard it’s great, and It’ll be fun to meet new people.

Phew!

So, that catches me up to right now. I can’t seem to get much work done because I’m fascinated and worried about the people in Louisiana and Mississippi right now. Hurricane Katrina is kicking their asses pretty hard, and people are apparently making cell phone calls to the police from their roofs asking to be rescued. One does have to ask though…why the hell didn’t you get out of town!?

I’m getting my hair cut tonight at a salon. No, I’m not talking the salon La Hair Cutterie. I mean a real salon. I got a really great deal. Maybe I’ll end up looking glamorous. Maybe I’ll end up looking like me with shorter hair. Who knows?

Stay tuned.

COUNTDOWN TO THE BEACH: 4 days.

2005-08-22T07:12:00.000-07:00

There is no possible way to tell you what I did this weekend without sounding like a pretentious, money-grubbing girl from New York City, so I’m just going to say it real quick-like…This weekend, Danny and I went to The Hamptons. There, I said it. Just like ripping a band-aid off real fast. And you know what? It was AWESOME.

Danny’s aunt and uncle own a house in Quogue (http://www.city-data.com/city/Quogue-New-York.html), about 2 hours from the city. They have a cute house a few miles from the beach, with a kick-ass sunroom, a huge backyard, and a pond/waterfall/fish habitat thingie. Also, they are the coolest people ever. I wish I had an aunt and uncle as cool as they are. Over dinner the first night, we talked politics and religion, and agreed! I haven’t agreed about politics and/or religion with anyone in MY family since…ever!

We got on the Long Island Rail Road on Friday afternoon. The LIRR is way nicer than the Amtrak trains. They are all brand new double-decker trains with bar cars and big comfy seats, and unlike all other NYC transportation, they don’t smell like urine! After a nice, 2 hour ride, we arrived in Quogue. Danny’s uncle met us there, and was nice enough, but he became downright gregarious once I accepted a dram of Johnny Walker Black. I was in. We had a great dinner that night, and Danny and I went to bed pretty early.

We woke up early on Saturday morning, and rode bikes to the beach. We walked up and down the beach, gawking at all the multi-million dollar homes and stuck up bitches. I then proceeded to burn the shit out of my legs after kneeling in the sand, thus rubbing all of the sunblock off. I closely resemble a lobster right now, but luckily only from the knees down. Thank god for skirts and shorts.

Saturday night, we went out to dinner, and Sunday afternoon was spent on their 35 foot Cris-Craft cabin cruiser. We went in all the bays in the area, checking out more ridiculous homes, many of which appeared to be having parties we weren’t invited to. How rude.

We hopped back on the train and got back to the city around 7 last night. I’m exhausted and sore, but had an amazing weekend.

In other news, 11 days until the beach! I can’t wait.

In more other news, 6 days until I move!!! I can’t wait.

Fruit Fly Update: The fruit flies have begun their hostile takeover of the apartment I’m subletting. They’ve set up a compound on the stove, and have begun missile testing on the dishes in the sink. Next week can’t come soon enough.

Roger that. Over and out.

You Can Never Go Home Again

2005-08-15T10:18:00.000-07:00

Well, I’m back from my trip home for the weekend. It was incredibly relaxing, with the exception of some drama on Saturday night. Here’s how the weekend went down, yo:

Friday morning, I grabbed my backpack and my suitcase (brought a bunch of clothes home to do laundry) and left my office for the bus stop. The bus stop is only about 20 blocks from my office, and after hauling my heavy bags about a block, I decided to just take a cab. I’m usually very good about not taking cabs, but I convinced myself that this was an extenuating circumstance, and that this way, I’d get to the bus stop a bit early instead of right on time.

No such luck. My cab driver decided (because he was a prick) to drive straight through Times Square to get to our destination. Anyone who has read this blog knows that my hatred of Times Square knows no bounds. And I forgot that if I want my cab driver to not rape me up the ass with cab fare by taking 3 hours to get where he’s going, I actually have to pipe up and say, “Can you go around Times Square please?” My mistake.

Times Square was a-hoppin’. Apparently, they were filming some sort of video or something, because blocking all traffic in the square was about 150 people, all holding electric guitars and standing next to cinder blocks (including the famous Naked Cowboy, though I don’t know why he’s so famous, he’s not even naked). Anyway, because of this, I arrived only 15 minutes before departure time, and this, I learned, was not early enough. I got in an enormous line, and had to wait for the second bus. Guess what? The second bus HAD. NO. AIR CONDITIONING. For 5 hours, I sweated and tried to stay as still as humanly possible so as not to produce any more sweat than was already in existence.
Eventually, I got to D.C., and stopped by my former place of employment to say hello to some people, and to make sure the place had not crumbled to pieces because I, their pivotal member, had left. Luckily, they appear to be holding it together.
Friday night was spent with my family and my dog, who missed me terribly and who told me that he’s been getting significantly fewer doggy treats in my absence. I told him I would speak to my family and have the situation rectified. He responded by saying, “Why, thank you Colleen,” peeing on the floor, then sleeping for three hours.

Saturday was nice. I went to Target with Mom, hung out with Lindsay all evening/night, drank wine, and baked a cake.

I had a lovely air-conditioned bus on the way back, and the only crappy thing about my trip was that when we pulled into NYC, it was in the throes of a B.A.T. (Big Ass Thunderstorm). It was raining in sheets as we got off the bus and tried to retrieve our luggage from under the bus. There were a few old people on our bus, and they were freaking out because of the rain and their inability to climb under the bus to get their suitcases. Here’s a little snippet of what I heard:

Old Lady #1: Aaaaahhhhh! Oh, no. Oh, God. I’m getting wet.

Old Lady #2: Me too! Oh God, how will we get our luggage? Oh God! Ahhhhhhh!

Literally, they were wailing (I don’t think they were crying, but I wouldn’t have been able to tell anyway, what with the rain).

So, since none of the other people were paying any attention, I threw my bags back on the bus and climbed into the luggage compartment. I started hauling bags out, one by one, until everyone’s luggage was in its owner’s hands. The old ladies appeared to have seen wings growing out of my shoulder blades because they then shouted, “God bless you! You are an angel! Thank you!” So, I figured I’d done my good deed for the day. This way, I wouldn’t feel so bad about the baby kittens I was planning to brutally murder that evening. It all works out in the end.

Anyway, my soggy weekend ended fittingly, I think. Danny wanted to take me out to dinner at this restaurant in the West Village. It looked like the storms were over, so we headed out. We were oh-so-wrong. The downpour this time was equal to, if not more violent than the previous one. We ended up getting soaked from head to toe (even with umbrellas) and getting to the restaurant, only to discover it was closed. So, we went all the way to the West Village from the Upper East Side for Go Sushi, the sushi food chain which has a restaurant 3 blocks from Danny’s apartment. Ugh.

Today though, it is a bit overcast, but 74 degrees! It’s beautiful! I plan to go for a run with my guy after work, in a vain attempt to not look like crap for the beach (less than 3 weeks baby!)

And now, for your viewing pleasure, I present to you my new favorite entries on www.overheardinnewyork.com:

Girl: ...anyway, he was making money hand over foot--
Guy: Isn't it "hand over fist"?
Girl: It'll be "fist up your ass" if you don't stop interrupting me.

--Starbucks, Spring & Crosby

Guy: Hey pretty lady, what's your hurry? Can I have some of that?...Oh, come on, share your candy, pretty lady.

Lady: It's Pepto Bismol, not candy.

Guy: Walk on, crappy lady, walk on.

--88th & Broadway

Woman: I'd like to order a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich.

Cashier lady: I'm sorry, ma'am, we're kosher.

Woman: Oh OK, then make it a sausage, egg, and cheese.

--Nathan's, LaGuardia

Hobo: Do you have any spare change?

Guy: Sorry, no.

Hobo: Well, come back when you do.

--Orchard & Houston

Guy: Don't feel bad, honey. I'd say that one out of every 8 guys is a convicted arsonist.

--Union Square

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we have some good news and some bad news. Bad news is that our engine has stopped. The good news is that you're not on an airplane.

--MetroNorth train

How To Eat Your Way Through New York City

2005-08-10T13:39:00.000-07:00

I’m very hungry. There is a tasty looking peach sitting on the bookshelf, but I do not want a peach. What I want is a BBQ chicken burrito from Blockheads. Following that, I’d like a Copa Cabana Banana from Coldstone (which I can’t have because the Cake Batter™ ice cream has been found to contain salmonella. Damn.) If I cannot have that, I would like to substitute the Mexican popsicles they sell at the bodega next to my apartment. I will stop by there today and propose a deal they can’t refuse. I’ll suggest that we get some PVC pipe from the local hardware store, and run the pipe from the freezer next to the counter right into the living room window of my apartment. Then, whenever I want one of their delicious real fruit popsicles, I can just drop the money through the tube, then suck the popsicle out by placing our Super Powerful Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner over the tube at my end. It’s so easy. And they will never have a problem selling their popsicles. Ok, back to food. Following the popsicle extravaganza, I would like the eel roll from GoSushi on 85th and 2nd. How it will get to me while I’m sitting on my couch in Brooklyn, gorging myself on popsicles, and how I will pay for it are details to be worked out later. After a quick visit to Jack Russell’s on the Upper East Side for the best potato skins known to man, I believe I will sit and watch some cable television.

Speaking of, until last night, I hadn’t seen The Daily Show in over a month. I was going through some serious withdrawal. But Danny got cable finally, so all is well.

Ok, so this little tidbit is specifically for big fans of The West Wing: The guy who runs security at the front desk where I work looks EXACTLY like the secret service agent who had a crush on CJ. Like, I’m wondering if that actor got inspired by his roll and decided to pursue a career in front desk security. Sadly, I doubt it.

I think a spider bit me on my thumb. Please, oh please, let it be the radioactive kind. This world is just itchin’ for a Spiderwoman.

2005-08-09T10:50:00.000-07:00

Some of my favorite entries from www.overheardinnewyork.com

Woman: Is this your first child?
Man: Yes, why do you ask?
Woman: You sure act like it is.
Man: What does that have to do with you being rude and inconsiderate?

--Loews Lincoln Square, 68th Street

Hippie: What color is your aura?
FIT girl: I think my aura has black and white stripes.
Hippie: Vertical or horizontal?
FIT girl: Horizontal...no, vertical.
Hippie: Is that because vertical stripes make your aura look fat?
FIT girl: Yeah.

--26th & 8th

Girl: If you ever make me sleep in an ATM vestibule again, I am so dumping you.

--Grand Central

Hobo: Can you spare some change? Or a pineapple?

--4th Avenue & 8th Street

Hobo: We been waiting for this train since May 5, 1987.

--86th Street B/C station

Hobo: Miss, miss, can you spare some change? Sir, sir? Ma'am?...You!You'll speak when you're spoken to!

--49th & 8th

Conductor: Canal Street next after this brief musical interlude.

--R train

Tourist woman: Excuse me, can you tell me where the big apple is?

--43rd & Broadway

Woman: What I love most about New York is that wherever you go, inevery neighborhood, there's garbage on the curb. To me, that's democracy.

--University & 11th

Kicking Screaming Gucci Little Piggy

2005-08-01T10:16:00.000-07:00

I’d like to start off today’s entry by providing yet another example of my ineptitude at various everyday activities. I made macaroni and cheese for dinner last night. Yum. I saved half of it for lunch today. Yum. I then proceeded to dump the macaroni and cheese on the kitchen floor at work. The resounding *splat* could be heard from miles away, I’m sure. So, I was forced to buy my lunch in the cafeteria downstairs, and pay entirely too much for it, incidentally.

This weekend was pretty crazy because Adam, the guy with good musical taste from whom I am renting my room, returned for a short visit to the apartment with his band mate. Thursday night, Adam, Rene and I went to this great place that sells exotic beers and the best cheese I have ever had in my entire life. We picked up some of that, and hung out on the roof of the apartment to watch the sunset. It was crazy beautiful.

The weather this weekend was perfect, so I spent as much time outdoors as I possibly could. Friday after work, Danny and I went for a run in Central Park, followed by a significant amount of walking for the rest of the evening. I feel very physically fit this morning after all the exercise this past weekend.

AC Update: Still no AC in the apartment, and now, my Aerobed has become just about the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever slept on. Danny and I ended up deflating it and sleeping essentially right on the floor last night. Today, I’m suffering from a sore back, and a lack of sleep. I was at Matt’s apartment this weekend (a.k.a. my future home come September), and I am now having daydreams about living in an apartment with a real bed and a frigid window unit. Just one more month.

This weekend also marks my very first New York City freak out session. I knew it would happen, and as I found out from a few of my friends who have recently moved up here, it happens to everyone. Ever since I got here, I’ve subconsciously been dealing with the fact that EVERYONE in this city judges you on first glance. When you’re walking down the street, it’s not just the guys who give you the once-over, it’s all the girls too. What am I wearing? Is it hip enough to be walking around Manhattan on a decidedly not-skinny-enough body? Oh good god, is this from Old Navy?! I should be ashamed of myself. I have to say, I am not a big girl, but I certainly feel like one, the way I’m scrutinized by all the “beautiful girls” in this city.

So it finally hit me, on Saturday night, as Danny and I were getting ready to go out to a bar and meet some of his friends from college. Incidentally, they were both in sororities. I just didn’t think I could handle the pressure of being judged by all of New York City as well as two sorority girls from Florida State. I just didn’t think I could do it. So the waterworks came on, and didn’t stop for a good 20 minutes. Of course, just after any good cry, I felt better afterward, but it was the first time since I moved here that, just for a brief moment, I wished I was back home in D.C. where no one, at work or on the weekend, gave a flying rat’s ass what you were wearing or whether or not you had makeup on.

So here it is, Monday afternoon, and I am back to being madly in love with this city. I’m also going to work on that unfortunate part of my personality that tends to care what people think of me. I think if I can start to get over that, I’ll be a lot better off.

Beach Countdown: 33 days and counting

Check out the pictures of the place we’re staying:

http://www.surforsound.com/properties/260.html

Sunrise, Sunset

2005-07-27T14:32:00.000-07:00

Considering my historical proclivity for causing myself serious bodily harm while doing physical activities, it will probably come as a shock to you that I have joined a co-ed sports team. It certainly came as a shock to me. Ok, to be fair, it’s not like I’ve taken up rugby or Australian football (which, by the way, looks like SO MUCH FUN). I have joined a Zogsports (www.zogsports.com) softball team. I was thinking I’d have to do it all by myself too, but I was able to use my powers of persuasion to convince Lisa to join too! We joined the “very casual” league, which basically means you do a lot more drinking than actual playing softball. Which, if you know me or Lisa, is absolutely perfect. It should be a fun fall in New York City.

I saw Fiddler on the Roof last night on Broadway, and aside from the fact that I actually had to set foot in the hell that is Times Square, it was really great. The show was very well done, with the original choreography by Jerome Robbins (my hero ever since I saw West Side Story) intact. Harvey Firestein played the main roll and, to my great surprise, listening to his voice for three hours didn’t make me want to stab myself in the arm with a rusty knife. You can tell he absolutely loves being up there and commands the attention of the audience throughout the play. Great stuff.

Well, that’s about all there is in the land of Colleen right now. I’m heading to Danny’s later and we plan to have a run in Central Park, then dinner and Netflix will round out my quiet night. Don’t you worry though, he’s at the liquor store right now stocking up so even our quiet night can be crazy :-)

Fast Times at Capeside High

2005-07-26T07:02:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was very uneventful. I spent a lot of time walking around Brooklyn and exploring. Walk out my front door, and you’re in Southeast D.C. Walk two blocks south, and it’s Dupont Circle. The Tea Lounge, which is part bar, part coffee/tea house, has been a favorite hangout of mine lately. They sell these Australian meat pies, which Danny tells me are nearly impossible to find in The States, so we stopped in for some meaty, flaky goodness. They tasted like gourmet Hot Pockets. I also inquired about a job there, just in case my funds should run dangerously low at some point. I have to say though, I am very happy with how I’m managing with my money. I might just survive on an assistant’s salary after all!

Saturday, Danny and I went for a nice, long walk around Central Park. It was during said walk that we discussed how not to become fat lards by eating better (1 bagel a week!) and exercising more. It’s tricky for me, because I can’t really join the gym near my apartment in Park Slope because I’ll be moving in a month, but this coming month is when I really need to get in shape, since I’m going to the beach the first week in September. Eeek! Today, I brought my workout clothes to work, and after work, I’m going to go running in Central Park. How cool is my life right now? I get to run in Central Park!

There has been an awful lot of sitting in front of the DVD player with my roommate, watching episodes of a certain teen drama these days. We are kind of on a roll, and we want to get to the end of the series soon so we can get back to our regular lives. It’s becoming a ritual…come home from work, make dinner, have a beer, watch a couple of episodes, bemoan the fact that Joey is so damn mean to Pacey, when he is, in fact, the perfect boyfriend, and yelling, “FOREHEAD!!” at the screen whenever Dawson shows up. I do think I need to get out more.

Countdown to the beach: 37 days!

A sobering experience

2005-07-22T06:53:00.000-07:00

I grew up in the suburbs. Occasionally, I would venture into D.C. after dark, sometimes even to the more sketchy neighborhoods, if it meant getting to a great party at Velvet. But I’ve really never spent any significant amount of time in an urban environment. Just living in this Brooklyn neighborhood has been an eye-opening experience over the last two weeks. However, I was not prepared for what I saw last night.

I had gone to a happy hour in Union Square with Lisa and Jon, and was heading home on the 4 5 at around 9:30pm. I had to wait for about 15 minutes at a station in Brooklyn. While I was sitting on the bench, a man sat a bag in the seat next to me. It was clear plastic, and inside was one of those “hazardous medical waste” containers (the ones I’m always sure contain lanced tumors and bloody amputated arms – too many horror movies, I know). Anyway, the only relevance of the bag was that it made me take notice of the man who had been carrying it. He was maybe 27 or 28, wearing a wife-beater t-shirt and jeans, shaved head, and had a brand new, still bleeding swastika tattoo on his arm. I then noticed nearby there was a woman with a child. The boy was maybe 4 years old, and smiling and laughing. His mother was absolutely out of her mind on drugs. She had dirt under her fingernails and sores all over her arms, not to mention track marks from whatever needles she had been putting in them. She kept stumbling around the subway platform, pulling and pushing the child around with her, yelling at him if he got distracted and stood still for too long. Well, it didn’t take long to figure out that this little boy’s father was the Nazi shithead with the bag next to me. The woman kind of lazily followed him around on the platform. The man occasionally would stop walking and start angrily punching the concrete pylon like he was boxing.

I felt sad, scared, and really pissed at the same time. The saddest part was knowing that this little 4 year old boy was probably destined to have just as fucked-up a life as his parents obviously did. His father would teach him intolerance, and his mother would teach him that it's okay to solve problems by injecting shit into your arm. It was a big dose of reality for me, realizing that this stuff not only exists, but for the first time I am in extremely close proximity to it. I don’t think that was the last time I will see something like that. It does a lot to jolt you out of the little middle class bubble you live in, and makes you realize that there’s a reason people form organizations and programs to help lower income people and families break the cycle that causes their children and their children’s children to live this destructive lifestyle. I’ve never felt more content with my liberal political position, realizing the importance of helping people to help themselves through programs sponsored using government money. It’s important, and after seeing something like that last night, I can’t think of anything more important.

resisting the temptation for another title referencing HP6

2005-07-21T07:28:00.000-07:00

I’m fairly sure that Peeves the poltergeist has vacated Hogwarts School and is currently residing in my apartment.

There is a small room off the kitchen in my apartment in which the tenants keep a refrigerator, an old electric piano painted hot pink, and Fabian, my beloved iMac. Last night, I got on the computer to check the route I was to take to the subway (the practically useless 2 3 train to the Upper West Side). I had turned on the fan and light in the room. As I walked back into the living room, I heard a sound like a champagne glass breaking. I looked all over the kitchen, and in the hallway, but saw nothing. Then, I happened to look over in the room in which I had just been sitting. One of the light bulbs in the fan lamp had exploded. Literally. The bulb had turned completely black and was now burning a hole in the linoleum floor exactly where I had been sitting moments before. Had I been sitting at the computer just a minute or so longer, I would have a hole burned in my head right now. Not pleasant. I love my abode.

Lisa and I are signing up for the zog sports league’s softball team in the fall. It will be a blasty-blast! We are going to be on the “very casual” league, so if we suck (which we will), we won’t be alone. Also, everyone goes out drinking after games. How cool is that?

I did not get enough sleep last night and the only thing that’s keeping me awake right now is an iced triple grande skim no whip white mocha. I’m proud to be an American for at least one reason: Seattle-based stores which sell addictive stimulants on every street corner in America. Lee Greenwood forgot to put that part in his song.

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

2005-07-20T07:48:00.000-07:00

So a car blew up on my block last night.

Danny and I were hanging out on the roof drinking wine, when black smoke began to billow above the roof of the neighboring buildings. After about 10 seconds it was clear that the smoke was coming from the street and that it was not just someone grilling or lighting a fire. We headed downstairs and sure enough, someone’s truck has burst into flames and was completely burned out by the time we got down the street, the fire also burned a nearby bush, a bicycle and part of another car. I can only hope there was no one in the truck at the time. So much excitement on 4th Avenue. I hear sirens about 5 times a night in my neighborhood, and I’m telling myself that’s completely normal. Totally normal.

I went to a Laundromat and got laughed at by a bunch of housewives while I tried to figure out how to use the antiquated washers and dryers. Look at the white girl trying to do laundry! I feel that I should defend myself after telling that particular bit, but I have no excuse. I’ve always had a place to do laundry that didn’t require 7,000 quarters and dropping my strawberry underwear on the floor in front of 20 people. I’ll learn.

That is all the exciting stuff that’s happening I guess (doing laundry doesn’t really count as exciting, I’ll admit). Found a great little Italian restaurant in my neighborhood, blah blah, hot as hell in my apartment, blah blah blah.

Let’s hope this Diet Mountain Dew gets me through the day. C’mon buddy, you can do it.

Life at 16 Grimauld Place, London

2005-07-18T20:24:00.000-07:00

It occurred to me today that you can learn a lot about someone you've never met by living in his room for two months. For instance, I was given free reign by a relative stranger (my "landlord") to raid and listen to his CD collection while I'm living here. As I was digging through the copious amount of jazz and little-known bands, I came across several CDs, all of which were scratched so badly there's no way they'd play on a CD player. They included Sting, Stevie Wonder, the soundtrack to Purple Rain, and Bob Marley. Not at all bad first bands, and I'm sure there is a correlation between the existence of these CDs and the great taste in music this guy seems to have. I'm currently listening to Mr. Miles Davis, thoroughly enjoying it, and thinking it's time Danny and I wandered back over to the Iridium Jazz Club in (gasp!) Times Square, and catch another show. Jazz is great stuff. Especially late at night, as it is right now. Yes, it is my first New York bout of insomnia. I didn't sleep a wink last night, due to a bad headache and a loud beeping sound out on 4th Avenue that went on ALL NIGHT LONG.

Beep! Beep! Beep! (blissful pause) Beep! Beep! Beep!

So here I am, and by all rights I should be barely able to keep my eyes open, but instead I'm listening to the jazz collection of my subletter and counting the bars on my window. Did I mention I have bars on my window? Yes, I do.

On a very positive note, I have finished "HP6" as all the kiddies are calling it (and more than a few adults...I was at the release party in Union Square at midnight on Friday. I saw more drag queens there than at a regular night at Velvet...white parties excluded of course).

My roommate and I sat around and drank some beer tonight, a favorite pasttime of mine since (a) I discovered I have no money, and (b) Rheingold beer is MAD CHEAP at the little grocery next door.

And now, back to Miles and staring at the bars. I would tell you about my exciting Broadway experience that included miss Marsha Mason and Miss Delta Burke, but I'm trying to erase it from my memory...

Oh and also, Coldstone rocks my socks. It just does.

Thank you and goodnight.

Desperate

2005-07-14T06:12:00.000-07:00

If anyone out there finds themselves in either New York City, Chicago, Los Angeles, or South Florida (huh?), go and see the play “Jewtopia.” It’s freaking hilarious. It tells the story of two guys who meet at a Jewish singles mixer. One is a Jewish guy who needs to meet and marry a Jewish girl to make his parents happy, and the other is an Irish Catholic guy who wants to marry a Jewish girl so he never has to make another decision as long as he lives. Danny’s friend directed, wrote, and is starring in this play (stars in the NYC one), and we got to meet and chat with him after the play. So funny.

Ok, so one of the things I’ve been doing over the last few months and will continue to do while I’m living in New York is collect celebrity sightings. I’m not going to be creepy fan girl (except possibly with David Bowie), but I’m just going to collect my sightings and post them right here on my blog for all to see.

Until last night, I had a grand total of three NYC celebrity sightings:
1) Ashley Olson at an Italian restaurant/bar in the East Village in February. She bumped into my shoulder as she walked by, which is the only reason I even noticed her. She still very much looks like a child and may even be part midget, I’m not entirely sure.
2) Susan Serandon and Tim Robbins at the Schubert Theater on Broadway. Danny and I went to see Spamalot in May, and they were in the Audience. He is freaking tall, and she is absolutely beautiful in person. They also had their son with them.

Last night I also had a celebrity sighting, though not one as famous as the previous two. Ricardo Chavira, who plays the character of Carlos on Desperate Housewives (husband to Gabriela, played by Eva Longoria). We were at this bar called Vintage, which was the typical New York lounge, dark, with long couches and red tinted votives. All I can say about Ricardo is that he looks exactly as he does on television. Perhaps he was out celebrating Desperate Housewives’ 15 Emmy nominations J

So there you have it. 4 Celebrity sightings in just about as many months. I’m a rock star.

Barefoot in the Park

2005-07-13T09:13:00.000-07:00

Reason # 1,340 why living in New York City is awesome:

My plans for tonight are not only awesome and cheap/free, but I have a good weather option and an inclement weather option.

Good weather option: The New York Philharmonic is giving a free concert in Central Park tonight. Cost to me: $5-10 for a sandwich and however much it costs for a somewhat decent bottle of wine.

Bad weather option: The Broadway show called, “Jewtopia.” Hailed by Time Out New York as, “Two hours of comedy! After a quarter century of Neil Simon and his imitators, the playwrights redeem the formula with edge! Displaying a commercial sensibility that is almost obscene, they combine the swaggering generation y, (for yahweh) sensibility with the more traditional borscht belt approach, nailing two demographics at once! The result is irresistible – like watching precocious kids mouth off to their parents! The young authors play the parts with sassy abandon! The script throws every ingredient on hand into the comedic chicken soup...you may eat till you plotz!” Cost: absolutely nothing.

Last night, Danny and I went to this great Mexican restaurant for his birthday called Blockheads. Amazing burritos and cheap mojitos make this place a must-visit for anyone on the Upper East Side. Since when did I start talking like the Zagat guide?

Tomorrow is the Mets game. David says his cousin was vomited on at Shea stadium, and it’s supposed to be raining, not to mention the fact that well, it’s the Mets. But I am determined to drink a beer and eat a hot dog and enjoy baseball just the same.

And the pickles, and the pickles...

2005-07-11T10:26:00.000-07:00

Thing # 1: Because of the nature of blogging, I will not be writing about my job. But I will say just this one thing: I have an AMAZING view of the river, the city, and its 8 million inhabitants.

Thing # 2: Yummy Taco has FREE DELIVERY. Do you realize what this means? I can sit on my aerobed in my un-air conditioned room, pick up the phone, and have cheap and delicious Mexican food brought to my door. Life is good. On a related note, tomorrow I start my Yummy Taco-sponsored Don't Get Fat program by running the length of Central Park 3 times a week. Maybe I'll see David Duchovny.

Fabian meets Colleen and the Sparks Fly.

2005-07-10T20:02:00.000-07:00

I may or may not have spent the last 4 hours watching Dawson's Creek with my new roommate. It must be the confessional nature of the weblog that makes me so forthcoming about my transgressions, but I just can't help it. Teenage angst never gets old. Plus I can't help but study Katie Holmes in an effort to figure out why she is shacking up with the new Crazy Tom 2000 (tm).

Tomorrow is my first day at work. Hopefully I won't pass out the moment I get home tomorrow night, because there are too many things to do in this wonderful city to spend my time sleeping. Also, lest anyone forget, I have no air conditioning, so the less time I spend in my sauna/bedroom the better.

I have decided to give this lovely 8 year old, teal-colored iMac on which I'm writing a nickname. He shall be Fabian. Fabian will serve me well in the next couple of months I think. He will check my email at alarmingly slow speeds and letters I type will appear just a second or two later than I actually enter them on the keyboard. I heart you Fabian.

Today I did all of the mundane things I normally do on a Sunday. I went grocery shopping, made another trip to Target, dropped off film to be developed, and heated up leftovers in the oven. Even though these things are mundane, somehow doing them here is much more fun.

I have discovered the Yummy Taco and I LOVE THE YUMMY TACO. I went there again today, and got the grilled chicken taco. I don't think I can ever go back to Taco Bell.

Last night was Danny and Nick's birthday party things at Patty O'Brien's on the Upper East. It was free beer all night, and Danny won two tickets to the Mets game on Thursday night. Guess who he's bringing with him? I will have to pretend that I'm not a Yankees fan for just one night and enjoy some great baseball. Either that or, if I'm feeling fiesty, I'll wear my Yankees hat and cause a riot :-)

Alright, it's almost midnight, and I've got my first day of work tomorrow.

Adios!

Real World: New York City

2005-07-09T12:00:00.000-07:00

Alright, this is my first post in New York City. I'm writing this on an antiquated iMac bought by the tenants for $50, sitting on one of those round seats drummers sit on behind their drum sets. I am just now starting to settle in a bit, and mentally preparing myself for my first day of work on Monday.

The drive up was uneventful. We didn't get lost once, we made excellent time, and found a rock star parking spot right outside my apartment for Lindsay. We spent Thursday evening unpacking my shit (mentioned in previous entries).

The apartment is pretty nice. There's a decent sized kitchen (though with no microwave or toaster, I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do for food), and my room is big enough. One problem has arisen though, which I am not very happy about. The central air conditioning broke last week apparently, and the landlords installed window AC units in all the rooms EXCEPT MINE. Turns out, it's against NYC fire code to have a window unit installed in a window which goes out to a fire escape, so it looks like I'm SOL and sleeping with a fan for the two hottest months of the summer. Yippee.

Other than that, yesterday was spent walking around the city in the pouring rain. Lindsay and I spent a good while at Strand Books (one of my absolute favorite places in the whole city), and then made a wonderful dinner of bruschetta and Artichoke and Leek soup. It was amazing and cheap!

Around 8:30, I met the second of my two roommates. Here's the rundown: Roommate 1: From upstate New York, and before that, Japan. She is such a sweetheart and seems like she is very laid back. Roommate 2: A very cool chick from Texas. We ended up all hanging out and drinking last night. We checked out some of the cool bars in the area, and let me tell you, THERE ARE SOME COOL BARS IN THIS AREA. This place we went to last night was called the Tea Lounge, and there was some very cool music and pretty cheap drinks. I hope to return there soon. All in all, I think my roommates and I will work out very well, and possibly stay friends even once we all go our separate ways.

This morning, we went to Target. Now, let me take a minute here to explain that in New York City, there is essentially one Target which serves ALL OF NEW YORK CITY, and it is located a block and a half from my front door. Also in this same location is a Marshalls, a DSW, and a PathMark (grocery store, but better and cheaper than Giant or Safeway...crappy produce, but people don't buy produce there, they buy produce at the open air markets ACROSS THE STREET from me). Also, there is a hardware store, a Bath and Body Works, an electronics store, and pretty much anything my little heart desires or may ever desire. Unfortunately, I won't have the money to go shopping at any of these places (except for Target) in the near future.

So anyway, we went to Target to get the essentials. Then back here, where Lindsay and I packed up our backpacks and headed to the Prospect Park Botannical Gardens. HOLY CRAP it's beautiful there. A 15 minute walk from my house is every tree, plant, and flower you could imagine, along with a big pond, and waterfalls. If you come to visit me (whoever you are), you must make me take you there. We took lots of pictures. We spent most of today there. Oh, and for the 3rd time in as many months, I ran into someone I know from Virginia on the streets of New York. As Lindsay and I were walking toward Prospect Park, this girl with spikey, bleach blonde hair slowed down on her bike going the other way. It was this girl Barb from high school band, and little sister of one of my best friends! We exchanged numbers and will probably hang out soon. Amazing.

It's now 3pm, and my ex-coworker Michael is in town and we're going to hang out for a bit. Tonight is free keg night on the Upper East Side to celebrate Danny and Nick's birthday, and I'm sure lots of silly drunkenness will ensue.

I'm off to make Danny a cake. Shhhh, don't tell him, ok?

Seacrest OUT! (what a tool)

Little Body Shop of Horrors

2005-07-05T12:08:00.000-07:00

Ok, so one of the major obstacles in the way of my complete happiness and financial stability whilst living in the "Second Home to the World" is the existence of my 2001 Honda Civic.

A little over a year ago, I left work early one day with a ridiculously high fever and was headed to the doctor. As I pulled out of the parking space in the parking garage, I heard a crunching sound. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, stupid thing #13,476 that I've done was done that day. My car was quite abruptly introduced to the concrete pilon, and it caused some relatively minor damage to the front end of my car...all this due to sheer stupidity and a 103 degree fever.

So here I am, realizing that I am not going to need a car in New York City, and that this car I thought I would drive till it died would need to be sold, and sold quickly. I got three estimates today and they were all ridiculously high. Two of the guys doing my estimates treated me like a stupid girl who didn't know anything about cars. Now of course, this is completely true, but I wasn't going to let them know that, nor should they assume such things. One guy quoted me a price of $1500, and called me "darlin'" a lot, but after I told him I had a quote from a dealership at a much lower price, he lowered his price by a few hundred dollars. Prick. He lost any business he was going to get from me with that little stunt.

ANYWAY, now I'm completely screwed because I have very little money and a rather large body job to have done. Oh the joys of living on a menial salary.

If I were to rate today on a scale from 1 to 10, I'd put today at a solid 6.0. I got a really good run in this morning, so that was good (+1), and I got a lot accomplished in preparation for the move (+1). However, the obnoxious body shop trips, the fact that I haven't seen my boyfriend in over a month, and minor breakdown resulting in my tearstained and red face led to the loss of those 6 points that would have otherwise led to a perfect 10 day (-6). Please join me tomorrow and see if I can attain the perfect 10 day.

Countdown to NYC: exactly 48 hours. Let's hope I make it that long.

Shit.

2005-07-05T05:38:00.000-07:00

I have a lot of shit.

I've spent the last few days buried in my parents' basement (a.k.a. the Batcave, sadly and conspicuously missing a certain hot Welsh actor whose last name rhymes with "rail"). I've been organizing all of my worldly possessions into the following categories: (1) shit I need in NYC now, (2) shit I'll probably need in NYC in a few months when mom and dad come to visit, and (3) shit I don't need but my pack rat tendencies have forced me to hold onto. I think it's really funny that no matter how much effort I put into the sorting/packing process, I will inevitably get to NYC and find tons of stuff I really should have brought with me. Ah well.

I'm starting to get really excited now. Up till recently, I would have only moments when it would really hit me that I'm moving to New York City. I'd get this weird feeling of nervousness, excitement, and impatience to get the hell up there already. Now I've pretty much moved into full on Panic Mode, where I've got so much to do and so little time in which to do it. I'll be glad when Thursday rolls around and I just have to pack the car and go, and hope everything else works out. I know it will.

So here it is, Tuesday morning, and I'm off to get more shit done.

back in the saddle again

2005-06-27T05:49:00.000-07:00

A mere three months after my hasty retreat from the blogosphere, I've returned. But this time I swear I have a good reason. Ok so get this...I've been hired by a ****** in New York City (don't want to give anything away about where I work...one can get fired for that, you know...but if you know me, you know what a kick-ass job I have!). I know, who knew, right? I would love to sit here and type to my friends who are reading this that I just went up there, wowed them with my mad skillz, and demanded a job. That is not the case. I went up there, wowed them with my mad skillz, then three interviews and two rejections ("but we really like you") later, I landed the job. I am beyond excited. You have no idea. And I don't even know who you are.

So next Thursday, I will pack all my shit in my friend's car, and she and I will make the 5 hour drive up to my new home in Brooklyn, New York...Park Slope to be exact.

So there you have it. There's my good reason. How else, if not for a blog, will all my friends know what I'm up to? I mean, emails and phone calls are SO twenty minutes ago.